Dec 26, 2010 - Feast of the Holy Family - Without the Other-Others, who are We Anyway?

Readings - http://www.usccb.org/nab/122610.shtml

During the Christmas season, which only began yesterday with the celebration of the Nativity of our Lord, every major celebration invites us to reflect on an aspect of the Mystery of Jesus’ (the Son of God’s) Incarnation and walking among us. Today, on the Feast of the Holy Family, we remember that Jesus entered into this world in the same way as all of us do, in the context of a family.

Every single one of us, even orphans enters into the world this way. Yes, we are members of the human race, members of a particular people, nation and community. But at the most fundamental level, each of us grows up surrounded by 5, 10, 15 people, “family,” from which we learn most of what we learn about how to manage our lives in this world.

All of us learn good things from our families, and we also learn some bad things. And because our families can/do carry some negative baggage as well as good, we’re given then the example of the Holy Family, predominantly Mary and Joseph to help steer us in a more positive direction no matter how messed up our immediate family circumstances may have, in fact, been.

What can we learn from Mary and St. Joseph? We can certainly learn from the Gospel reading today that Joseph put the welfare of Mary and Jesus first. Averted in a dream that Jesus was threatened by Herod, he picked up his family and left for Egypt. Averted later that it was okay to return back to Israel, he did so, though choosing then to live in Nazareth outside of Herod’s family’s power to keep them safe. Joseph didn’t have to do that. Jesus wasn’t even his child. At any step of the way, Joseph could have said, “Mary, I’m sorry but you and your child have caused me nothing but trouble. Goodbye.”

Mary too could have said “no” to God. It would have certainly been easier for her and even for her relationship with Joseph if she did. Instead, she chose to accept the impossible and the consequences of having to occasionally have to explain her decision (to Joseph most notably, but certainly to others who would have been nosy enough notice that Jesus probably didn’t look a whole lot like Joseph ...).

Why would one do that? Why would one put family, put a baby, put arguably God first?

It’s a question for all of us to wrestle with.

Perhaps it is in opening oneself to that which is beyond oneself (in Catholic speak “the Transcendant”) one gets to live. A kid learns repeatedly that choosing one’s own way just gets one sick (Eat 25 hotdogs, cookies or gum balls and you’ll get sick. Decide to walk away from mom and dad, and who exactly is going to feed you? And, in Chicago, it gets really cold in the winter if you want to live “outside the home”).

As an adult, you can choose to live “on your own” but almost by definition, you’re going to “live alone.” And what’s going to be left of you when you’re gone?

We can then sulk and say “Well my life doesn’t mean anything anyway so who cares?” But (1) we _do_ probably care and (2) if we choose to have people around us, our lives _do_ matter to them. So only by our choice do we negate our importance to others or even to God.

We can hold our breath but eventually we ourselves have to open our mouths to take in new air.

So we’re stuck with others, others who love us. And we’re stuck with a God who loves us as well. And it’s good that we’re “stuck” with them. Because they are the ones who’ll let us back in when we realize “wait a minute, what the heck am I doing outside of this house anyway?”

Yes, we have things to teach our families, which we learn from our experiences. EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN A FAMILY _ENRICHES IT_ by his/her experiences. But if we don’t talk to our families, who do we enrich anyway? Ourselves? Our friends? Perhaps. But our friends are generally are the ones who teach us new things to bring home. And without our families, we'd probably have little to share with our friends.

So without family, there’s little to share, with either friends or family.

So on this day of the Holy Family, let’s think a bit about our relationships, especially at home, and then about the example of the Holy Family. It’s not bad to open oneself up to the Other, to put Others first, ultimately to put God first. Because when we choose to do that, ultimately, we choose to live.